Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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