You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
