they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I fill condoms, not promises.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
