i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
