Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
