Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
