They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
