whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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