yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
