I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
