I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
