You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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