why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
