Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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