you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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