I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
