Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
