Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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