I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
