imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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