Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
