what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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