She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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