very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
