He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it's great music for shaving your balls
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
