why im i the only drunk person in the library?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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