His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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