they need to just BURY HIM!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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