So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
