why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
