Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
