The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
