Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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