the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
