Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
