What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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