He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
