Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I stole a fireplace last night.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
