Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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