Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
