i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
