what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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