she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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