Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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