how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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