bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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