You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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