Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
