New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
