If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
handjob tips. give me some.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
