I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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